Can You Believe: May 2017

• Dogs play an important role in the lives of many families and there are differing ideas as to whether dogs should be allowed on beds, furniture, etc. In the case of one family, the white miniature poodle was non-allergic, non-shedding and always slept beside her mistress in the conjugal bed. One night, Maria turned over and inadvertently stroked the animal beside her only to discover to her horror that instead of curly poodle hair she was touching something much softer and silkier. With a scream, she sat bolt upright and found a neighbourhood cat had snuck into bed beside his poodle friend. How could this have happened since all the open windows had screens on them?

For sure your sins will find you out. The teenage daughter had, after dark, opened her bedroom window and snuck out to go and meet with her friends, leaving the window open so that she could return by the same route. Rumour has it that the teenager never used that exit window again and the cat was deprived of a sleepover with her poodle friend.

• A couple of old biddies drove into Montreal to accomplish several errands at government and notarial offices. Proudly, without the aid of a GPS, they found their way to the various ports of call and even found parking within the proximity of their destinations. They decided to head towards the Bonaventure Expressway to gain access to the Champlain Bridge for the return trip to Knowlton. They both remembered that University Street was the one to take but, try as they might, they could not find the street by that name. Then, realization hit that the street they remembered and recognized was now called “Robert Bourassa”.

• Two lads decided to ease their parents’ workload by cleaning out the ashes in the wood stove, which hadn’t been alight for two days. To do a really good cleaning job, they vacuumed out the remaining ashes with the Electrolux. A tiny spark must have remained because in seconds smoke was billowing out of the vacuum cleaner. Quick-thinking, the oldest boy heaved the smoking appliance into the garden. Incredibly, once the bag finished burning, the Electrolux was still functional.