Susan Jacques 

• An elderly gentleman woke from a deep sleep at 2 a.m. On looking out the window, he noticed a flickering orange/red light, on what seemingly would be the neighbour’s front porch. Was it the beginning of a fire? It did not seem to grow, but it was best to check it out. Donning a raincoat over his pajamas, he walked over to the source of the flame. Assured that it was a colourful solar torch light, he returned to bed. Worried that he may have been caught on camera, he voice-mailed the neighbour to say that the reason he was standing by their house at 2:00 a.m., was not dementia. 

• In this modern and electronic era, we can be disturbed by many things that go beep in the night and they are not always easy to identify. Awoken from a blissfully deep sleep, a woman heard an annoying but persistent beep. She wandered the house, upstairs and downstairs to check the keypad of the alarm system and various smoke detectors but kept hearing the intermittent beep. She finally located the guilty party – a newly-acquired telephone for her husband who was hearing-impaired. It was signalling that it needed to be returned to its base to be charged. 

• A customer tried on a skort (short skirt with shorts underneath) but, to her dismay, when she tried to undo the waistband snap, she was locked in. After some frantic attempts which resulted in severe over-heating under her mask, she exited the dressing room to seek help. Her trusty friend as well as the store owner tried in vain to extricate her, but the stubborn snap refused to release its victim. Scissors to cut off the garment were even considered. Finally, a similar skort was examined and played with and the mysterious snap revealed its secret. We know about anti-lock brakes and child-proof medication containers, but this snap had to be pushed side- ways before allowing the skort-wearer to escape its clutches. The joys of modern security inventions.